1. Your parents are not perfect.
2. Your parents are lonely and scared, just like you.
3. Your parents have personal and marital problems.
4. Your parents are sometimes sorry they married each other.
5. Your parents are trying to protect you from their problems.
6. Your parents need your help, but they don't want to upset you.
7. You have known and loved your parents your whole life.
8. Tell your parents that you know they have problems.
9. Tell your parents that they can talk to you about their problems.
10. Tell your parents that you love them.
AGING 101
1. Life is aging.
2. Aging is acquiring emotional and physical wounds.
3. Wound-healing depends on metabolism.
4. Metabolism depends on air, water, and food.
5. Metabolism is undermined by toxins and addictions.
6. Toxins and addictions interfere with wound-healing.
7. Toxins and addictions accelerate aging.
8. Avoiding toxins and addictions slows down aging.
9. Aging does not necessarily lead to infirmity.
10. Aging without infirmity is the purpose of life.
ARABIAN WRITES
Ghazals from Gaza
and sonnets from Sinai
win huzzahs and high-fives.*
*Ghazals are Arabic love poems.
BANKSTER$
Zillionaire zombies
embezzle & bamboozle
sashaying in safes
& waltzing in vaults
while forging defaults.
BON VOYAGE 1
Birth is when the soul
ignites and brightens the light
that delights our sight till we start to fight.
BON VOYAGE 2
Death is when the soul
gives up the fight and takes flight
but stays out of sight till the time is right.
BOOZE
Dotted and blotted
with hospitals and hoosegows
We are besotted
and bemused by booze
BOOZE & GUNS
Booze and guns are a no-no
Blotto plus ammo equals blammo
I'm not well
If you are sick
I'm not rich
If you are poor
I can't live
If you're not free
I depend on you
And you can depend on me
A brother is no bother
We all have the same Father
CARNAGE
Cars are toxic, traumatic, erratic,
aristocratic, emblematic, problematic,
metallic carapaces for the narcissistic,
nihilistic, solipsistic, sadomasochistic fanatic.
COMMON SENSE 101
1. We are alive.
2. Life is metabolism.
3. Metabolism depends on air, water, and food.
4. Metabolism is undermined by toxins and addictions.
5. Toxins and addictions make us sick and irrational.
6. Irrationality leads to conflict, violence, and war.
7. Conflict, violence, and war destroy life.
8. Life and peace require common sense.
9. Common sense means paying attention to the obvious.
10. The obvious is the connection between life and metabolism.
CONNUBIAL CONUNDRUMS
1. Marriage is an unconscious attempt to re-create and repair childhood traumas.
2. Marriage can be both torrid and horrid.
3. Considering the prevalence and pain of divorce, people should be married by a lawyer and divorced by a clergyman. Let's practice prevention and merciful intervention.
4. The recipe for marriage is one part love and nine parts like at 98.6 degrees.
5. Don't settle for the wrong person, and don't let the right one get away.
CREATOR 1
God is the essence
of a supernal presence
that prefers deference
& proffers deliverance.
CREATOR 2
Our randomness
and chaos are in tandem
with God’s true purpose
our helplessness
& God’s willingness.
DEAR GOD
Please teach me
But be patient
Please grade me
But be lenient
Please correct me
But be gentle
Please forgive me
But be subtle
Please heal me
But be careful
Please free me
But be watchful
Please hear me
But be active
Please help me
But be quick
And I'll be quiet
DIVORCE 101
Gonads stimulate
Genitals satiate
Men vegetate
Women aggravate
Marriages terminate
DO RE: ME
Don't praise me
I couldn't do less
Don't blame me
I couldn't do more
Don't judge me
Just accept me
EBENEZER SCROOGE
Number$ are bummers.
Numbing, dumbing, and humbling
They make us succumb
to crumbling slums
run by grumbling bums
like you, Mr. Scrooge.
FACTS vs. OPINIONS
Many believe and opine
but few perceive or define.
So having opinions is fine
but being opinionated
is over the line.
FATHER'S DAY CARD TO FATHER TIME
Dear Dad,
Time is like tofu
Tofu is nutritious but bland
And needs spice
Time, likewise, is essential but boring
And needs meaning
Yours forever,
Hugh
GOOD MOURNING
It's been a long time
I miss you
Do you miss me?
You were my sweetheart
Now you're my obsession
Love has an aim and object
As we became a couple
Aim and object fused
Now I must change this syntax
And liberate my lonely libido
Now I must grieve
And sever aim from object
GREEN WITH ENVY
He: You look pale, Rhoda. What's bugging you?
She: I feel rotten, Denny. I'm stumpy, and my roots are showing.
He: Come on, honey. You've blossomed into a real beauty.
She: I'm so lucky to have landed you. But I wish I were thin and exotic like Rose and Lily.
He: So that's it. You're jealous of those two anorexic Twiggys. Have you been dieting?
She: Well, yes. I just want to lose a few pounds. So far it's all water loss.
He: No wonder you look wilted.
She: I feel pretty rocky.
He: Don't pine, Rhoda. You're fragrant, earthy, and colorful.
She: Oh, Denny. I love you. You're my oasis, sky, and stars.
He: Now let's get some sun, and then we'll eat.
She: Please don't ever leave me.
Pasquale: Dominick, those two rhododendrons are planted too close. Separate them, and give the little one some water and fertilizer.
GRIEF
Don't ask me to say hello
I can't say goodbye
Don't ask me to say yes
I can't say no
Don't ask me to hold your hand
I can't let go
Don't ask me to live
It hurts too much
H2O
Civilization is water management
for human betterment not nature’s detriment.
Infectious disease:
kill the eponymous bug
but not the sick lug.
HAIKU AHIMSA 1
Hymns for ahimsa
which shimmers with peace and love
no glimmers of hate
HAIKU AHIMSA 2
Hymns for ahimsa
Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs, and Jains
refrain from all pain
HAIKU ARGUE
Argumentation
desecrates & dessicates
communication.
HAIKU BE PC-FREE
PC somersaults
& assaults our normal faults
with pseudo-gestalts.
HAIKU BIG PHARMA LOVES YOU
Medical journals:
the key opinion leaders
indubitably.
"Big Pharma" is an association of large, wealthy, powerful pharmaceutical companies that control healthcare. "Key opinion leaders" or "thought leaders" are medical experts who influence doctors to write prescriptions which often benefit Big Pharma, the pell-mell pill mill, king of kickbacks, and queen of quacks.
HAIKU BIG TO-DO
Ideology:
Polysyllabified word
For plain old theory.
HAIKU BOO-BOO
Life's brutality
is bodily bondage to
chemical bonding.
HAIKU CATCH-22 (JOSEPH HELLER)
Constant conundrums
cry out for explication
and extrication.
HAIKU CHIT-CHAT
Talk is not chatter
or patter, but rather the
truth of the matter.
HAIKU CODE BLUE
Hospitalitis:
phantasmagoria of
fantasy and gore.
HAIKU COMPUTERS
Digitize data
Midgetize mater-pater
Dissimulator.
HAIKU CONNUBIAL 1
Rx for marriage:
1 part love and 9 parts like
@ 98.6°.
HAIKU CONNUBIAL 2
Rx for marriage:
1 part snooze and 9 parts schmooze
@ 98.6°.
HAIKU COPYCAT
Our perfunctory
pro forma conformity
puts us in a funk.
HAIKU DELETE 1
Replete with defeat
our science is obsolete
& our elites cheat.
HAIKU DELETE 2
Replete with defeat
our money is obsolete
& our elites cheat.
HAIKU DRACULA
Empires are vampires
demanding blood donations
from sovereign nations.
HAIKU ELECTRONS WORK FOR YOU
Electricity:
Big grid of itty-bitty
Negativities
HAIKU ESP
Reading poetry:
mutual telepathy
with great sympathy.
HAIKU EXCLUSIVE WORLDVIEW
Fanaticism:
Rigid ideology
Trumps humanity.
HAIKU FAUX 1
Uniformity
reflects the deformity
of conformity.
HAIKU FAUX 2
Uniformity
reverses reality
mocks morality.
HAIKU FAUX 3
Uniformity
is stereotypy, not
who you ought to be.
HAIKU FAUX FOE
It's more humane
to cure your enemies
than to kill them.
HAIKU FINIS
Time is God's patience.
When God runs out of patience
We've run out of time.
HAIKU FOR DOCTORS, TOO
Hippocrates said
Ars longa, vita brevis
Life is our purpose
HAIKU FOR HUMANISTS
Atheists study
Objective reality
Not theology
HAIKU FOR LISTENING
Words that aren't heard
Aren't really understood.
Words don't count; deeds do.
HAIKU FOR U.N.
Nationalism
necessitates copious
rationalism.
HAIKU FOR WHO*
Healthcare is self-care.
Your hunger and thirst come first.
Avoid addiction.**
*World Health Organization of the U.N.
**sweets, alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.
HAIKU FOR YOU
Although this rotten
world has just forgotten me,
I somehow got you.
HAIKU FREE TO BE 1
Stereotyping:
individuality
eradicated.
HAIKU FREE TO BE 2
Stereotyping:
superficiality
elaborated.
HAIKU GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Tourism bridges
divides between your-ism
and our-ism.
HAIKU GO SLOW
Exceed your limits
but heed your limitations
and need for patience.
HAIKU GOVERNMENT SCREW 1
Abuse of power:
the state's ubiquitous acts
of iniquity.
This haiku is dedicated to Voltaire, who said,
"It’s dangerous to be right when the government
is wrong."
HAIKU GOVERNMENT SCREW 2
Global bankruptcy:
Rampant waste, fraud, and abuse
No transparency
HAIKU GRANDMA & GRANDPA
DNA angels
with ancestry, destiny,
and best clemency.
HAIKU HAPPY
Happiness is
today and tomorrow
without pain or sorrow.
HAIKU HEALTHCARE
Modern medicine:
Humpty Dumpty meds with
Lumpy hospital beds.
HAIKU HEROES
Heroes are zeros
We need more antiheroes
& even weirdos.
HAIKU HIGH IQ
IQs for TQs*
don't rescue but D/Q**
so please no thank-you.
*test questions
**disqualify
Nationalism
necessitates copious
rationalism.
HAIKU FOR WHO*
Healthcare is self-care.
Your hunger and thirst come first.
Avoid addiction.**
*World Health Organization of the U.N.
**sweets, alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.
HAIKU FOR YOU
Although this rotten
world has just forgotten me,
I somehow got you.
HAIKU FREE TO BE 1
Stereotyping:
individuality
eradicated.
HAIKU FREE TO BE 2
Stereotyping:
superficiality
elaborated.
HAIKU GETTING TO KNOW YOU
Tourism bridges
divides between your-ism
and our-ism.
HAIKU GO SLOW
Exceed your limits
but heed your limitations
and need for patience.
HAIKU GOVERNMENT SCREW 1
Abuse of power:
the state's ubiquitous acts
of iniquity.
This haiku is dedicated to Voltaire, who said,
"It’s dangerous to be right when the government
is wrong."
HAIKU GOVERNMENT SCREW 2
Global bankruptcy:
Rampant waste, fraud, and abuse
No transparency
HAIKU GRANDMA & GRANDPA
DNA angels
with ancestry, destiny,
and best clemency.
HAIKU HAPPY
Happiness is
today and tomorrow
without pain or sorrow.
HAIKU HEALTHCARE
Modern medicine:
Humpty Dumpty meds with
Lumpy hospital beds.
HAIKU HEROES
Heroes are zeros
We need more antiheroes
& even weirdos.
HAIKU HIGH IQ
IQs for TQs*
don't rescue but D/Q**
so please no thank-you.
*test questions
**disqualify
HAIKU HIGH SCHOOL
Creativity
turns miscreants and truants
into good students.
HAIKU HOAX
Deadlines & redlines
interlineate our lives
permeating lies.
HAIKU HOT & COLD 1
Love and hate debate
& ambivalence abounds
Spewing spastic sounds.
HAIKU HOT & COLD 2
Love and hate debate
When hate is on hiatus
Our love inflates us.
HAIKU HUGH MANN
His excessive dreams
make his weak recessive genes
much more than he seems.
HAIKU HULLABALOO
Tower of Babel
enables hateful labels
that disable us.
HAIKU HUSH-HUSH
Secrets are sacred
safeguards of sentimental
sensitivity.
HAIKU INCONNU
All know your story
but none know just how gory
and boring it was.
HAIKU I KNEW YOU
If the child you were
could meet and know you today,
what would that child say?
HAIKU I TOLD YOU
If doctors dismiss
anecdotal evidence
science will stagnate.
HAIKU IT'S NOT THE FLU
The best way to cut
the Gordian knot of health
is Occam's razor.
Creativity
turns miscreants and truants
into good students.
HAIKU HOAX
Deadlines & redlines
interlineate our lives
permeating lies.
HAIKU HOT & COLD 1
Love and hate debate
& ambivalence abounds
Spewing spastic sounds.
HAIKU HOT & COLD 2
Love and hate debate
When hate is on hiatus
Our love inflates us.
HAIKU HUGH MANN
His excessive dreams
make his weak recessive genes
much more than he seems.
HAIKU HULLABALOO
Tower of Babel
enables hateful labels
that disable us.
HAIKU HUSH-HUSH
Secrets are sacred
safeguards of sentimental
sensitivity.
HAIKU INCONNU
All know your story
but none know just how gory
and boring it was.
HAIKU I KNEW YOU
If the child you were
could meet and know you today,
what would that child say?
HAIKU I TOLD YOU
If doctors dismiss
anecdotal evidence
science will stagnate.
HAIKU IT'S NOT THE FLU
The best way to cut
the Gordian knot of health
is Occam's razor.
HAIKU KAIROS
Time’s a Mobius
loop with the past and future
spliced in the present.
HAIKU KISMET
Until and unless
fate blesses us and says yes
we cannot progress.
HAIKU KOOKY
Insane and profane
we're mainly extramundane
and can't cope with pain.
HAIKU NORTH KOREA
Pyongyang gang bing-bang
Kim Jong Un no wunderkind
Nasty dynasty
HAIKU LUXURY 1
Baubles bedazzle
our ignoble mettle
with noble metals.
HAIKU LUXURY 2
Sumptuousness is
succor for suckers who see
splendor not squalor.
HAIKU MAD MEDS 1
Psychiatry is
up a tree and lost at sea
in pharmacology.
HAIKU MAD MEDS 2
Buoyed by hooey
from hoity-toity hotshots
psych drugs are ersatz.
HAIKU MIDEAST MELEE 1
Mismatched but attached
Jews & Arabs ratchet up
but can't patch it up.
HAIKU MIDEAST MELEE 2
Mismatched but attached
Sunni-Shia ratchet up
but can't patch it up.
HAIKU MIDEAST MELEE 3
Mismatched but attached
the right & left ratchet up
but can't patch it up.
HAIKU MOOLA
Capitalism:
hegemony of money
and patrimony.
HAIKU MOTHER NATURE KNOWS MORE THAN YOU
Homeostasis:
Nature’s self-moderation
and self-correction.
HAIKU MUSE 1
Creativity:
We communicate via
conscious-unconscious.
HAIKU MUSE 2
Creativity:
Creator illuminates
from apse to synapse.
HAIKU MUSE 3
Creativity:
odd odyssey of crises
leading to insights.
HAIKU NEUTRAL TRUTH
Let's seek peace and health
as artists and artisans
not as partisans.
HAIKU NEW VIEW
Let’s stop being so
offensive and defensive;
let’s just be pensive.
HAIKU PEACE & HEALTH
As prequels to life
peace & health are coequal
joy is the sequel.
HAIKU PEACE POETRY
Invites and unites
with nice, delightful insights
that never incite.
HAIKU PEACE PROCESS
Middle East mambo
Tricontinental tango*
Quango fandango
*The Middle East joins Eastern Europe, Western Asia, and North Africa. Complex and perplexing, the Middle East is a disjunctive, rambunctious junction.
HAIKU POLS
Bland dudes with grand duds
making do & drinking brew
with their boozy buds.
HAIKU POLY-SIGH
Politics is sick
Economics comical
Astronomical!
HAIKU POOP
Life is predation
& fecation, but without
any vacation.
HAIKU PSEUDO-NEWS
Eye-popping cop-outs
Propped up optics & psyops
Stopped-up & nonstop.
HAIKU REALPOLITIK
Burdens-protections*
are split - we get the former
pols get the latter.
*Governments impose burdens and provide protections.
HAIKU RESPECT IS DUE
Let’s inspect concepts
to detect any defects
in perfect respect.
HAIKU ROBOT PAS DE DEUX
Metalloids convert
us and our machines into
hi-tech humanoids.
HAIKU SCARE-CARE
Beware of scare-care.
We need balance & fairness
Not bias or fear.
HAIKU SCHOOL 1
Intellectual
but so ineffectual
school is truly cruel.
HAIKU SCHOOL 2
Hallowed but hollow
schools kowtow to puppet shows
for the status quo.
HAIKU SIGNS & MIRACLES
Signs are messages
that presage divine presence
with sublime essence.
HAIKU SKIING
Life is a slalom
but we are just schussboomers
who can’t change our minds.
HAIKU SNAFU
Furtively funded
& force-fed by Big Pharma*
healthcare is drugged up.
*With its pricey, perilous polypharmacy, Big Pharma is the pell-mell pill mill, king of kickbacks, and queen of quacks.
HAIKU SNOOPING
Computers are a
2-way mirror that watches
us watching ourselves.
Time’s a Mobius
loop with the past and future
spliced in the present.
HAIKU KISMET
Until and unless
fate blesses us and says yes
we cannot progress.
HAIKU KOOKY
Insane and profane
we're mainly extramundane
and can't cope with pain.
HAIKU NORTH KOREA
Pyongyang gang bing-bang
Kim Jong Un no wunderkind
Nasty dynasty
HAIKU LUXURY 1
Baubles bedazzle
our ignoble mettle
with noble metals.
HAIKU LUXURY 2
Sumptuousness is
succor for suckers who see
splendor not squalor.
HAIKU MAD MEDS 1
Psychiatry is
up a tree and lost at sea
in pharmacology.
HAIKU MAD MEDS 2
Buoyed by hooey
from hoity-toity hotshots
psych drugs are ersatz.
HAIKU MIDEAST MELEE 1
Mismatched but attached
Jews & Arabs ratchet up
but can't patch it up.
HAIKU MIDEAST MELEE 2
Mismatched but attached
Sunni-Shia ratchet up
but can't patch it up.
HAIKU MIDEAST MELEE 3
Mismatched but attached
the right & left ratchet up
but can't patch it up.
HAIKU MOOLA
Capitalism:
hegemony of money
and patrimony.
HAIKU MOTHER NATURE KNOWS MORE THAN YOU
Homeostasis:
Nature’s self-moderation
and self-correction.
HAIKU MUSE 1
Creativity:
We communicate via
conscious-unconscious.
HAIKU MUSE 2
Creativity:
Creator illuminates
from apse to synapse.
HAIKU MUSE 3
Creativity:
odd odyssey of crises
leading to insights.
HAIKU NEUTRAL TRUTH
Let's seek peace and health
as artists and artisans
not as partisans.
HAIKU NEW VIEW
Let’s stop being so
offensive and defensive;
let’s just be pensive.
HAIKU PEACE & HEALTH
As prequels to life
peace & health are coequal
joy is the sequel.
HAIKU PEACE POETRY
Invites and unites
with nice, delightful insights
that never incite.
HAIKU PEACE PROCESS
Middle East mambo
Tricontinental tango*
Quango fandango
HAIKU POLS
Bland dudes with grand duds
making do & drinking brew
with their boozy buds.
HAIKU POLY-SIGH
Politics is sick
Economics comical
Astronomical!
HAIKU POOP
Life is predation
& fecation, but without
any vacation.
HAIKU PSEUDO-NEWS
Eye-popping cop-outs
Propped up optics & psyops
Stopped-up & nonstop.
HAIKU REALPOLITIK
Burdens-protections*
are split - we get the former
pols get the latter.
*Governments impose burdens and provide protections.
HAIKU RESPECT IS DUE
Let’s inspect concepts
to detect any defects
in perfect respect.
HAIKU ROBOT PAS DE DEUX
Metalloids convert
us and our machines into
hi-tech humanoids.
HAIKU SCARE-CARE
Beware of scare-care.
We need balance & fairness
Not bias or fear.
HAIKU SCHOOL 1
Intellectual
but so ineffectual
school is truly cruel.
HAIKU SCHOOL 2
Hallowed but hollow
schools kowtow to puppet shows
for the status quo.
HAIKU SIGNS & MIRACLES
Signs are messages
that presage divine presence
with sublime essence.
HAIKU SKIING
Life is a slalom
but we are just schussboomers
who can’t change our minds.
HAIKU SNAFU
Furtively funded
& force-fed by Big Pharma*
healthcare is drugged up.
*With its pricey, perilous polypharmacy, Big Pharma is the pell-mell pill mill, king of kickbacks, and queen of quacks.
HAIKU SNOOPING
2-way mirror that watches
us watching ourselves.
HAIKU START ART STAT 1
Art depicts conflicts
transcending comprehension
ending dissension.
HAIKU START ART STAT 2
Art is exquisite
requisite opposites in
apt apposition.
HAIKU SUB ROSA
Seeker and keeper
but not speaker or leaker
of sacred secrets.
HAIKU SUNSHINE
Corrupt governments*
need citizens** to right ‘em***
item by item.****
*& media
**& netizens
***& write 'em
****ad infinitum
HAIKU TICK-TOCK 1
The present taunts us
with thoughts of the haunting past
and daunting future.
HAIKU TICK-TOCK 2
The present begets
many poignant past regrets
and future not yets.
HAIKU TITLES ARE TOO-TOO
Diplomatosis
Academic neurosis
Apotheosis
HAIKU TUTOR
Teachers are artists
who combine performing arts*
with visual arts.**
* Performing arts include acting, speaking, comedy, music, singing, dancing, and mime.
** Visual arts include writing, composing, sculpting, painting, drawing, print, and film.
HAIKU TWO BY TWO
Paired dancers are like
paired electrons spinning with
synchronicity.*
*This poem was inspired by a dance routine with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Perhaps paired electrons can be called Fred and Ginger.
HAIKU U.N.
Global warming is
ignoble barnstorming for
UN's stormtroopers.
HAIKU NUKES
Man’s proclivity
Radioactivity
Incivility
HAIKU USA
Washington, DC:
pipeline for phoneys, cronies,
& much baloney.
HAIKU USSR
Russia's problems are
peristaltic, not Baltic,
crime, not Crimean.
HAIKU VACCINE SCHEME (EBOLA-GATE)
The boola-boola
for Ebola is Pharma's
patent payola.
HAIKU VOODOO
Placebos assuage
the guilt and incompetence
of health-care experts.
HAIKU WHO ARE YOU?
Your identity:
Hodgepodge of faults, fears, needs, dreams,
And many secrets.
HAIKU WHO RULES YOU?
Proprietary*
Plenipotentiary**
& mercenary***
* Corporations
** Governments
*** Banks
This is a new type of haiku, in which a series of asterisks play an integral role. I call this the Asterisk Haiku.
HAIKU XX-XY
Women are supine
and open, but men are prone
and alone, not drones.
HAIKU ZOO
Civilization:
Homo sapiens are just
Civilized manqué.
HEADWAY
Human progress is
torturous and tortuous
not innocuous
or superfluous.
Human progress is
torturous and tortuous
not innocuous
or superfluous.
HEAVENLY FATHER
It sounds trite, but my father was a great guy.
Lacking sophistication, but not dedication,
he supported us in a comfortable home,
while he worked in a filthy factory.
After ten hours of standing at a machine
and inhaling clouds of toxic dust,
he came home cheerful and loving,
without self-pity or resentment.
One day, my father surprised me
with a bicycle he built from spare parts
that he found in the basement of our tenement.
I loved that multi-colored bike,
because my father built it for me
with his hands and his heart.
God, thank you for my father.
Now I know what to expect from You.
HIGH KUDOS FOR EMILY
Formerly feral
friendly feline Emily
is now family.
HIGH KUDOS FOR FREUD
Psychiatry is
psychopharmacology
sans psychology*
*& biology.
HIGH KUDOS FOR H20
HAIKU BOUQUET
With its rain and dew
Spring is water's billet-doux
Of floral tutus
HAIKU HONEYDEW
With tropical fruits
Summer is water's sweet kiss
Of succulent bliss
HAIKU ADIEU
With its frost and sleet
Fall is water's au revoir
Of sleep and retreat
HAIKU ACHOO
With its ice and snow
Winter is water's wicked
Wonderful uh-oh!
HIGH KUDOS FOR LIFE
Peace is primary
Science is secondary
Tech is tertiary
HIGH KUDOS FOR REDOS 1
If the first divorce
is the right course, don't disparage
a second marriage.
HIGH KUDOS FOR REDOS 2
Widow-widower
share sorrow and co-borrow
their new tomorrow.
HIGH KUDOS FOR TUTORS
Eternal teachers:
their lessons never lessen
& faces never fade.
HOMESICK
As a baby, I needed
Comfort from my mother
As a child, I needed
Counsel from my father
As an adult, I've learned to live
Without comfort or counsel
But I still miss
My mother and father
HOMO PSEUDO-SAPIENS
We are deluded:
Our knowledge is diluted
Our thinking convoluted
And our soul polluted.
HOOKED 1
Addiction is a
morbid condition with fixed
rigid convictions
& predictions.
HOOKED 2
Addiction’s many
obsessions and compulsions
preclude cognition
& volition.
Love and hate debate
and ambivalence abounds
spewing spastic sounds
that endlessly redound.
HORMUZ HUSTLE
Smooth dudes ooze sweet crude
through crucial Strait of Hormuz,
monetizing moods
& refusing to schmooze.
HUGH-FO
I'm not brilliant
Or resilient
I'm not ebullient
Or insouciant
I'm just an alien
Who knows what's salient
HUMAN DESERT
When I tell you how bad I feel
Don't give me a pep talk or advice
When I'm out of gas
I don't need a car wash or road map
When I tell you how bad I feel
Don't treat me like I'm crazy or contagious
When I feel terminal
I don't need a diagnosis or quarantine
So when I tell you how bad I feel
Either give me something of yourself
Or shut up and try to listen
And what, you ask, is that something?
Never mind.
HUMANOLOGY 1
A liar misinforms others
A fool misinforms himself
An honest man informs others
A wise man informs himself
HUMANOLOGY 2
Facts = feelings + data
Knowledge = explanation of facts
Wisdom = humane application of knowledge
Humanity = capacity for self-knowledge and choice
IF
If you hate me
Tell me
If you like me
Give to me
Live for me
If you love me
Sigh for me
Cry for me
Lie for me
Die for me
I REMEMBER YOU
My eyes took a picture of you
And my psyche pixelated it
My ears took a tape of you
And my aura archived it
My nose took a whiff of you
And my olfaction faxed it
My mouth took a taste of you
And my tongue texted it
My arms took a tour of you
And my hands scanned it
My feet took a walk with you
And my legs logged it
My heart took flight with you
And my soul started to soar
With terabytes of delight
IT'S ALIMENTARY, MY DEAR
In Alimentarium
In the Cellulosum section
Lived a soft-hearted Hoosier named Indiana Banana.
Long and lean, he liked to hang out
with a bunch of friends.
In the Butcherinum section
Lived a salty Virginian named Sam the Ham.
Short and fat, he couldn't be cured
of his craving for sugar.
One day, Sam called Indiana yellow
And challenged Cellulosum to a tug of war.
Indiana pealed with zest
And arranged the meet on the Isle of Dairyana.
Everyone was prepared:
For Cellulosum, there were Indiana,
the Sacramento Tomato Twins,
and Artie, Mrs. Choke's son.
For Butcherinum, there were Sam, Vinnie Veal,
Bennie Beef, and Sam's cousin, Sal Spam.
Manny Manager, Stanley Stockboy, Chiquita
Checkout, and Perri St. Alsis served as judges.
The players were mustered
And relished the caper.
To add spice, each team had cheerleaders:
Cellulosum had the Veggies
Butcherinum had the Patties.
Near the end, Cellulosum got the razzberry
for unnecessary roughage.
After two hours, Butcherinum ran out of muscle
and couldn't catch up.
Cellulosum planted their feet, held their ground,
and steamed to victory.
Later, at dinner, everyone danced the Casa-Roll
and toasted Hosanna Banana!
K STREET 1
Pols sell influence
for lobbyists' affluence
trading decadence
via arrogance.
K STREET 2
Pols are beholden
Pols sell influence
for lobbyists' affluence
trading decadence
via arrogance.
K STREET 2
Pols are beholden
to the lobbyists’ golden
gifts which embolden
but are verboten.
but are verboten.
LEX TALIONIS (AN EYE FOR AN EYE)
Retaliation seeks
vindication and vengeance
with indications of bad intentions.
LIBBY & LEN TRAUBMAN
Liberal Libby and lenient Len
teach us that peace is convenient.
LIFE 1
Life is biological
& theological
but not logical.
LIFE 2
Life's raison d’etre
is biology & theology
with etceteras.
LIFE CHANGES
Small changes in your diet*
make BIG changes in your health.
Small changes in your habits*
make BIG changes in your health.
Small changes in your health
make BIG changes in your life.
*Avoid addictions like sweets, chocolate, cola, caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, and drugs.
LIFE STAGES
Childhood is a time of education.
Adulthood is a time of dedication.
Old age is a time of meditation.
Life is maturation, purification & elevation.
War is retaliation, devastation & obliteration.
Peace is cooperation, amelioration & celebration.
MAN VERSUS MOTHER NATURE
Man is continent
Mother Nature is a continent
Man has courts
Mother Nature has quartz
Man is mental
Mother Nature is elemental
Man has elections
Mother Nature has electrons
Man is ironic
Mother Nature is ionic
Man has quirks
Mother Nature has quarks
Man is unclear
Mother Nature is nuclear
Man has gray matter
Mother Nature has dark matter
Man is comic
Mother Nature is cosmic
ME'N'U
If I have to live
I want to be with you
If I have to die
I want to be with you
If I have to be
I want to be with you
If I
You
MESSIAH
Dragooned by God
& marooned by man
He's wounded & alone
but due very soon
Hallelujah!
MIRACLE
Miracles tackle
obstacles and debacles
by unshackling us
from our manacles.
MISFIT & MAVERICK
In my first decade, I tried to fit in.
In my second decade, I found I couldn’t.
In my third decade, I realized I shouldn’t.
In my fourth decade, I knew I must not.
MOTHER
Look at me with loving eyes
Lavish me with lullabies
Tickle me till I'm in stitches
Nourish me with kisses
And good wishes
MOTHER'S DAY CARD TO MOTHER NATURE
Dear Mom,
I'm angry at you
Your children are sick and unhappy
Don't you care?
Have we disobeyed or offended you?
Please speak up
Before it's too late.
Your son, the doctor
MYSELF
I'm trying to recall
what I never forgot
I'm trying to think
what I never thought
I'm trying to find
what I never lost
I'm trying to give
what I never got
I'm trying to be
who I never met
but can't escape
NEEDS vs. GREED
Needs are necessities
Greed is excessities
PARENT'S TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. Feed, shelter, and clothe your child.
2. Protect your child from the world.
3. Protect your child from yourself.
4. Protect your child from your spouse.
5. Protect your child from your marriage.
6. Protect your child from herself.
7. Study and understand your child.
8. Help your child to accept and respect herself.
9. Teach your child to think.
10. Teach your child to parent herself.
POINT OF VIEW
Truth is a paradoxical parallax
linking perspective with invective.
POTUS & FLOTUS 44*
America's Founding Fathers envisioned freedom
but they never could have imagined today
Harriet Tubman ran the Underground Railroad
but she never could have imagined today
Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves
but he never could have imagined today
Susan B. Anthony promoted women's rights
but she never could have imagined today
Eleanor Roosevelt internationalized human rights
but she never could have imagined today
John F. Kennedy legalized civil rights
but he never could have imagined today
Martin Luther King articulated civil rights
but he never could have imagined today
Somewhere in heaven, a jubilant choir is singing,
"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty,
we are free at last!"
*This poem celebrates Barack and Michelle Obama
as the 44th President of the United States (POTUS)
and First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS).
RABBLE-ROUSERS
Demagoguery:
inferiority with
hateful fakery
& nonstop mockery.
RACISM
Epidermal but eternal and infernal
Racism is skin-deep but sin deeper.
REIGN OF BLAME
Education credits the teacher
but blames the student
Health-care credits the doctor
but blames the patient
Economics credits the banker
but blames the borrower
Courts credit the lawyer
but blame the client
Government credits the politician
but blames the citizen
Media credit the sponsor
but blame the consumer
Religion credits the clergy
but blames the believer
Society indemnifies itself
by condemning the individual
RELATIONSHIPS
1. Most relationships are pretense, not substance.
2. Enemies slander; friends pander; loyalties meander.
3. There are two kinds of people: somebodies who think they're nobodies, and nobodies who think they’re somebodies. If you’re the former, avoid the latter.
4. Relationships progress through three stages: honeymoon (best behavior), testing (worst behavior), and friendship (cooperative behavior).
5. There are three types of dependency needs: primary (food, shelter, and clothing), secondary (support, guidance, sympathy, loyalty, patience, and discipline), and tertiary (affection and sex).
6. Most people fail to satisfy their dependency needs; therefore, cultivate independence and an eye for trustworthy, dependable people.
7. If your head and heart disagree, you're human, confused, and brokenhearted. Follow your heart, but don't lose your head.
SCI-FI 1
Science is data for all strata
& equations for all occasions.
SCI-FI 2
Settled science is fettered & fetid.
Science needs vetting instead of fêting.
SICK SOCIETY
When people are sick
we ask doctors to cure them
When societies are sick
we ask politicians to cure them
When politicians cure societies
they monopolize and demoralize them
We forget that a society
is a group of people
And that a sick society
is a group of sick people
Who are suffering
and need help
SOLDIERS SALUTE
Legs march, backs arch, and throats parch
Feet ache, hearts break, and voices quake
SOUL MATE
When we meet
my soul breathes
When we hug
my soul hums
When we kiss
my soul whispers
When we speak
my soul has reasons
instead of lesions
SPACE FOR RACE
Don't be down on brown
'cause red ain't dead
& black is back.
SUPERSTAR
Our birth is gratis
then we pursue status
chasing the chalice
brimming with malice.
SUPINE IS SUBLIME
I love to lie on my back
It's effortless and dreamy
Free of skeletal concerns
Sitting is awkward
Standing is outward
Walking and running are downward
My bed and hammock are heavenly
Moving me inward and upward
So I can exorcise my body
And exercise my mind
POTUS & FLOTUS 44*
America's Founding Fathers envisioned freedom
but they never could have imagined today
Harriet Tubman ran the Underground Railroad
but she never could have imagined today
Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves
but he never could have imagined today
Susan B. Anthony promoted women's rights
but she never could have imagined today
Eleanor Roosevelt internationalized human rights
but she never could have imagined today
John F. Kennedy legalized civil rights
but he never could have imagined today
Martin Luther King articulated civil rights
but he never could have imagined today
Somewhere in heaven, a jubilant choir is singing,
"Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty,
we are free at last!"
*This poem celebrates Barack and Michelle Obama
as the 44th President of the United States (POTUS)
and First Lady of the United States (FLOTUS).
RABBLE-ROUSERS
Demagoguery:
inferiority with
hateful fakery
& nonstop mockery.
RACISM
Epidermal but eternal and infernal
Racism is skin-deep but sin deeper.
REIGN OF BLAME
Education credits the teacher
but blames the student
Health-care credits the doctor
but blames the patient
Economics credits the banker
but blames the borrower
Courts credit the lawyer
but blame the client
Government credits the politician
but blames the citizen
Media credit the sponsor
but blame the consumer
Religion credits the clergy
but blames the believer
Society indemnifies itself
by condemning the individual
RELATIONSHIPS
1. Most relationships are pretense, not substance.
2. Enemies slander; friends pander; loyalties meander.
3. There are two kinds of people: somebodies who think they're nobodies, and nobodies who think they’re somebodies. If you’re the former, avoid the latter.
4. Relationships progress through three stages: honeymoon (best behavior), testing (worst behavior), and friendship (cooperative behavior).
5. There are three types of dependency needs: primary (food, shelter, and clothing), secondary (support, guidance, sympathy, loyalty, patience, and discipline), and tertiary (affection and sex).
6. Most people fail to satisfy their dependency needs; therefore, cultivate independence and an eye for trustworthy, dependable people.
7. If your head and heart disagree, you're human, confused, and brokenhearted. Follow your heart, but don't lose your head.
SCI-FI 1
Science is data for all strata
& equations for all occasions.
SCI-FI 2
Settled science is fettered & fetid.
Science needs vetting instead of fêting.
SICK SOCIETY
When people are sick
we ask doctors to cure them
When societies are sick
we ask politicians to cure them
When politicians cure societies
they monopolize and demoralize them
We forget that a society
is a group of people
And that a sick society
is a group of sick people
Who are suffering
and need help
SOLDIERS SALUTE
Legs march, backs arch, and throats parch
Feet ache, hearts break, and voices quake
SOUL MATE
When we meet
my soul breathes
When we hug
my soul hums
When we kiss
my soul whispers
When we speak
my soul has reasons
instead of lesions
SPACE FOR RACE
Don't be down on brown
'cause red ain't dead
& black is back.
SUPERSTAR
Our birth is gratis
then we pursue status
chasing the chalice
brimming with malice.
SUPINE IS SUBLIME
I love to lie on my back
It's effortless and dreamy
Free of skeletal concerns
Sitting is awkward
Standing is outward
Walking and running are downward
My bed and hammock are heavenly
Moving me inward and upward
So I can exorcise my body
And exercise my mind
SUPREME COURT
Case: God vs. Mother Nature
Date: Your Birthday
Complaint: God accuses Mother Nature
of promiscuity, cruelty, and child abuse.
Counter Complaint: Mother Nature accuses God
of neglect, abandonment, and delusions of grandeur.
Final Judgment:
1. This marriage is dissolved due to irreconcilable differences.
2. Mother Nature is awarded custody of the home and children.
3. God is granted visitation on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
4. The Court will select Someone to supervise the children.
5. In the event of a reconciliation, Paradise will be restored.
6. Meanwhile, there will be conflict and affliction of every description.
TELL ME A STORY
Tell me things are OK
Tell me you’re honest
Tell me you’re loyal
Tell me you love me
I love the way you lie
THEOLOGY 101
We traipse and lapse
with maps and apps
But God just acts
from apse to synapse
THE MAGIC OF MOMMY AND DADDY
1. A mother helps you to dream, while a father helps you to wean.
2. Parents should exult, not insult; exalt, not assault; confess, not profess; and pray, not prey.
3. You reflect the purity of your parents' souls.
4. There are two kinds of parenting: primary (childhood) and secondary (adulthood).
5. A deficiency of primary parenting complicates all future relationships.
6. You never outgrow your need for parenting. At best, you get your minimum daily requirement from family, friends, and role models.
7. Create the magic of mommy and daddy for yourself and your loved ones.
THE REAL YOU
It's not how you look
it's what you cook.
It's not where you toil
it's what you boil.
It's not where you stay
it's what you sauté.
It's not who you cradle
it's what you ladle.
It's not what you say
it's what you puree.
It's not what you do
it's what you chew.
It's not what you deduce
it's what you juice.
It's not what you think
it's what you drink.
It's not who you follow
it's what you swallow.
It's not who you meet
it's what you eat.
TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE (HAMLET)
Truth is multifaceted
with facile facets and tacit assets
that scatter light, shatter rights, and start fights.
TO XX, FROM XY
your angelic face, adoring eyes,
kind voice, gentle kiss,
& tender touch
have changed my
blood type &
fingerprints
TREASURE HUNT
You love money
But it doesn't love you
You love nature
But it doesn't love you
You love life
But it doesn't love you
So find someone
Who needs you
And completes you
TWO TRUTHS
The publication
of our public lives
belies the privation
of our private lives.
UTTER TRUST
Many great singers are blind
You see, the blind have an "advantage"
They never have to face animosity or deception
And so never lose their childlike trust
Or true voice
VIVALGIA
Anxiety spoils breathing
Insomnia spoils sleeping
Paralysis spoils moving
Sickness spoils living
Myopia spoils seeing
Caries spoil eating
Death spoils life
Dreams foil death
WAR & PEACE (LEO TOLSTOY)
Peace and health offer a comprehensible consensus
Not the reprehensible menace of war and sickness.
WICKED WAR ON DRUGS
Fake and on the take,
flashing badges, amassing
vast stashes of cash
& caches of hash.
WITHOUT A HIGHER PURPOSE
Life is a prison.
Fun is hell you enjoy.
Art is junk you value.
Music is noise you dig.
Science is chaos you classify.
Literature is print you peruse.
Language is gibberish you speak.
Family & friends are strangers you know.
